Personal Growth

forget resolutions—consider tweaking your internal wiring

Inspiring women to slow down and reflect on their wellbeing, personal growth, and relationships. My work has always begun with food and nourishment—how what we eat shapes how we feel, live, and love. Everything beyond that is drawn from lived experience, curiosity, and the beliefs I’ve gathered along the way.

At 63, I’m choosing to pause, pay attention, and share what feels true. My hope is to invite you inward—to reflect, to question, and to become more aware of how you move through the world.

Thank you for being here. I’m grateful to walk this path with you.

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Let’s Dive In…

How do you feel about personal growth? Are you comfortable with kind, constructive feedback? Do you desire to be a better person—aspire to be kinder, warmer, and perhaps more open to different behaviors, ways of thinking, and different people?

Or do you prefer to stay exactly as you are, resistant to the personal challenge of change? Have people ever told you, “you’re difficult, mean, or catty,” and you turned your back in denial? Do you get defensive when your bestie, sister, or mom tries to share feedback about your life? I mean, change is hard—so the easy choice is definitely to stay as we are.

But what would happen if we listened? What if we were open to the perspective of someone close to us—someone who may see us differently and can potentially offer wisdom or insights that make life a bit sweeter, a bit easier?

In my 30s, I thought I knew it all.

If my parents tried to share their wisdom, my typical answer was, “No—I want to make my own mistakes and learn from them.” But damn, I kind of wish I had listened, at least a little. Why was I so closed off to hearing their thoughts? They loved me and only wanted what was best for me. They didn’t have an agenda. They simply wanted to help me navigate life with fewer obstacles. Yet, in my stubbornness, I chose obstacles as a form of learning.

OK—at least I learned from my mistakes. But yikes, it would have been easier.

In October 2020, at the height of COVID and deep in an anxious state, I hired a life coach to help me manage my roller-coaster emotions. Casey was everything—and more—for me. But to rationalize the steep cost per session, I had to be painfully honest with her and with myself. I was two years into building my health coaching business and doing well when suddenly it came to a halt. I now had too much time on my hands and like so many people, with the world shut down, I felt lost.

She guided me to change some daily habits and create accountability around my time management. Plus, she encouraged me to develop a daily meditation practice that was grounding and quite healing. I was a sponge to her suggestions, and over time the anxiety decreased — check.

Casey continued to advise and guide me for years: relationships, business, daughters…check, check, check. I give her 100% of the credit for my ability to focus on writing this Substack over the past year and for having the courage to write a cookbook (which, by the way, is simmering nicely at the printer in Canada… more on that next week).

The reason Casey had such a positive impact on my life is simple: I was honest about my shortcomings and my fears. I was open to hearing her feedback and learning how to let things go and move forward. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t have done this work on my own.

My daughters, Allie and Julie, have developed their own methods of engaging in feedback for personal growth. Every now and then, when they’re facing big decisions—changing jobs, apartments, or navigating challenging relationships—they call a “board of directors” meeting.

Julie will text me and Rich to literally schedule a BOD meeting. She presents her issue, yada yada, and asks what we think. We share our thoughts, and she listens. My incredibly tenacious young nurse.

Allie, too, will request a BOD meeting for guidance on apartments, jobs, and life overall. She took it a step further and began working with Casey as well. In the past year, her life has done a complete 180—moving from Denver to West Palm Beach and starting anew. I’m incredibly proud of her hard work.

What about you? When was the last time you asked someone you trust—a partner, sister, mother, bestie—what they think about you, your life, your work, your cooking… fill in the blank. Could you handle the answer? What would it feel like if they said something that stung, something that triggered you? Could you breathe and listen without getting defensive?

Not easy.

But here’s the thing: personal growth only happens when we face our shortcomings and our bad behavior head-on. Once we accept the universal truth that we are all imperfect, we can stop being defensive and begin to consider ways to shift—to tweak ourselves into being better humans.

Personally, I’m not a New Year’s resolution gal. We all know it’s kind of BS. I’m more interested in taking a deeper look within, asking a trusted friend or partner for their honest thoughts, and considering how to grow as a person—to be kinder, more generous, considerate, thoughtful, open, and warm.

I know—it’s hard. It may sting a bit. But I promise, you won’t come down with the flu or COVID as a result of asking for personal feedback. Your feelings may get bruised, but guess what? You’ll recover. And you may grow a bit more resilient, with a heart more open to love.

I encourage you to take a deep breath and consider the possibility that life could be a bit sweeter and easier by welcoming personal feedback. Rather than focusing on how others need to change and “get over themselves,” maybe 2026 is the year we take a deeper look at ourselves and grow from the inside out.

When was the last time someone said to you, “Hey, you’re beautiful on the inside and out”?

Thank you for being here.
Much love and deep gratitude for your time and attention. ❤️

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