Forgive & Forget

Can you move forward, or do you prefer to hold a grudge?

Each week I’ll share personal stories, insights, and tips on healthy food, movement, intuition, and growth—always with a touch of spirituality. My path has been anything but straight, shaped by family, friends, gratitude, and love, and I hope my experiences resonate with you. As a trained Holistic Health Coach and passionate foodie, I love all things clean, organic, and nourishing—and I’m excited to share that passion with you.

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Let’s Dive In…

I am a people pleaser at my core. Not sure if it’s a generational thing, being from the Baby Boomer era or how I was raised as the oldest of three girls. But yeah, that’s me — don’t rock the boat, don’t stir the pot. I try to avoid drama at every turn. But alas, I am human. I make mistakes, and I’m mature enough to recognize that I can’t possibly please everybody all the time. How about you? Is ‘people pleasing’ in your wheelhouse?

As a chronic people pleaser, I try to avoid female drama, but it does occasionally find me

Some people seem to love the swirl of drama in their lives. They seem to always be chatting about their latest emotional stir up with this one or that one. I am not one of those gals. When I am ensconced in some kind of emotional tornado, it causes me a tremendous amount of stress. It is unnerving and makes my head spin.

How about you? Do you like the swirl of drama in your life? Are you a people pleaser like me and try to avoid the presence of drama? And, what do you do when it unexpectedly lands right in your lap?

I’ve seen too much female drama lately and I can’t help but share some thoughts

We’ve all seen it too many times. Two women - sisters, besties, mothers & daughters — they get into it over something. An incident occurs, or a casual comment is made, and one woman gets her feelings hurt. Sometimes she shares her wounded feelings with the other woman or she keeps it to herself and gets ‘chilly.’ And so it begins, one woman can’t let it go, another woman may become defensive. Unfortunately, and perhaps too often, drama among women can lead to the end of a relationship. And maybe that’s just the cycle of relationships. They build, they become strong, something happens, someone gets their feelings hurt, words are said, and it leads to the end. It breaks my heart to hear how two women with a long history of a close friendship can so easily go down a rabbit hole of emotional pain because one of them got their feelings hurt and they could not move forward from there.

CHOICES

• We can choose to not overlook people’s mistakes

• We can choose to not look past people’s shortcomings

• We can choose to not forgive and forget

But, we are then making choices that can potentially end important relationships

It is important to remember that as women, we have sat in both seats in our lifetime. We’ve been the one with our feelings hurt and we’ve been the one who is told we have hurt someone. Every relationship is unique and every situation is different. Where female drama is concerned, there is not a simple ‘fix-it’ answer. BUT I do believe strongly in human error, kindness, and love. At some point in our life we are all guilty of human error. And, as thoughtful as we may try to be, we will make mistakes in our life. Sorry, it’s a given. But, kindness and love, now that’s a choice over which we have control. For some of us, kindness and love come naturally. For others, they need to work at it as a daily choice. The importance of it cannot be understated.

The human condition means:

• We will make mistakes and inadvertently hurt someone

• We will say the wrong thing at the wrong time and inadvertently hurt someone

• We will make choices about our life’s journey and inadvertently hurt someone

What will you do when you are told you hurt a friend, a sister, your mom?

CHOICES

• You can choose to be defensive

• You can choose to be apologetic

• You can choose to listen

• You can choose to let it roll off your back

• You can choose to move on from the relationship

• You can choose to move forward with love

As a chronic people pleaser I typically choose to make an apology and then let it roll off my back. But that’s me and I know that option is not for everyone. What’s important is to recognize that we do, in fact, have options for our reaction when female drama finds its gnarly way into our emotional sphere.

Relationship issues do not have to be so high-pitched and messy

We can choose something novel – a conversation. Two women sitting down to discuss an issue that caused one or both of them angst and emotional duress. Two intelligent women sharing their feelings, listening intently to each other. Two women talking calmly and rationally, taking responsibility for their side of the street, truly listening and then forgiving and forgetting. Apologies are accepted and a commitment is made to move forward with love and a greater understanding of one another. To hug and to move forward with love. This approach will build the connective tissue of relationships, of important friendships.

There are two sides to every ‘drama-filled’ female interaction. Each woman needs to take responsibility for her piece in the matter. For being human…

Let’s be honest with ourselves and about other women…we are all human.

It’s OK to be human, it’s OK to share a hurt with others, it’s OK to be upset, and it’s OK to forgive and forget. Next time you find yourself entrenched in a dicey emotional moment with a woman, can you move through it and forward, with kindness and love?

People pleaser or pot stirrer? Where do you land and how do you deal with the situation? Please share.

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